Masturbation for men: A comprehensive guide for solo play'

We may think we live in a sexually liberated society, and in many ways we do. But try discussing masturbation with someone you don't know that well: Incomprehension, distancing, embarrassed silence or even horror will surely follow. An informal conversation about what almost all men do will rarely be possible. Yet masturbation is completely normal and usually even healthy. We clear up prejudices and give great tips on the topic of 'solo sex men'. Not in the mood for masturbation? Click here to see our ladies

Let's talk straight about male masturbation

Male masturbation has many names. Male masturbation is often described with one of the colloquial euphemisms:

• Jerking off
• Wanking
• Playing with yourself
• Pulling the pud
• Bashing the bishop
• Cracking one off
• Stroking your pope

During a guys’ night out or on club trips, masturbation for men is certainly often talked about, if not bragged about. But as soon as you go out in public, it is still frowned upon in many places to talk openly about solo sex. No matter what funny terms are used to describe the sexual act.

But masturbation is not a sin! And it's not the last resort for losers who didn't meet anyone at the club or festival that night. It is a real sexual act that almost every man enjoys at some point in his life. Masturbation is fun, relaxing and healthy! So let's take a closer look at male masturbation - how it is practised, how it can improve your sex life and increase your personal well-being.

How to masturbate

There is no one "right" way to masturbate, but there are some things you can do to make it (even) more pleasurable. It's time to discover what your body is capable of and enjoy a satisfying sex life with the person you can rely on the most: yourself!

1. Create the right mood

Dim the lights, turn on some sensual music, pour a glass of wine, light some candles or do some aromatherapy. These are things we believe will get women ready to masturbate. Or things we do to set the mood for a date. Most men wouldn't think of getting themselves in the mood. The thing is: Masturbation is an act of self-care. Many men grow up thinking that self-care is an act of self-indulgence and somehow unmanly. The truth is that we, just like women, have the best sex when we are relaxed and in our element. This also applies to sex with ourselves. So treat yourself with a bourbon, dim the lights and light some tea lights: you'll be surprised how much this will increase your enjoyment of the act!

2. Change your positions

Sex with a partner is often more fun if you vary the positions. Why should you limit yourself in this respect if you are jerking off? 
Try masturbating while lying, sitting, leaning against the wall or standing. You might learn to enjoy sex in a position you didn't know or like before.

Do you want to try something new in bed?

3. Don't rush

There are reasons to masturbate quickly. Maybe you're late for work, your mother could walk in at any moment, or you just feel like giving yourself a quick rubdown.
But too many men make it a habit to masturbate in a hurry - long after they've moved out of their parents' house. However, this can aggravate any existing problem with premature ejaculation. Take it slow! Allow yourself some anticipation and consciously experience the rising pleasure. Your orgasms will be stronger with a prolonged solo sex act.

4. Use a lubricant

Dry masturbation is not ideal. Your penis may become desensitised or sore over time. Prevent this effect by using lubricant during masturbation. However, body lotions or face creams are not suitable for this. They lose their suppleness when rubbed on the skin for a long time. Perfumed lotions can also cause irritation. It is best to use a sexual lubricant, preferably water-based and without warming substances that could also cause irritation. If necessary, you can also use a 100% pure edible oil such as coconut oil. Vaseline is not recommended as a sexual lubricant because it can damage condoms, but it can certainly be used as a masturbation lubricant.

5. Tune into your body

Masturbation is an opportunity to satisfy yourself, sure. But it's also a chance to listen to your body and how it responds. When masturbating, pay attention to the following things:

• Your breathing

• Your heartbeat

• How does your stomach feel?

• Are you tense or relaxed?

• Are you ashamed or do you feel your self-love naturally?

You may never have thought of masturbation as a meditative act, but it's entirely possible. The more attuned you are to your body, the more confident and relaxed you will feel about sex with yourself and your partner.

6. Don't forget the butt

Women have their G-spot and we men have our prostate. Yes, this gland is located right in our anus. Many men don't like the thought of anal stimulation, but if they can get past it, an ocean of sexual pleasure awaits them on the other side.

If you want to try it, there are a few things to keep in mind:

• Be sure to wash your hands beforehand
• Trim your fingernails
• Lubricate your fingers or a small toy with plenty of lubricant
• Start by stroking and stimulating the edge of the anus
• Relax before inserting a finger or small anal toy

By the way: It might be difficult to work on the prostate and the penis at the same time. Therefore, especially as a newcomer in this area, concentrate on one of them. You may find anal masturbation uncomfortable, but many men love prostate stimulation. It is worth a try to see if you are one of them.

7. There is more to your genitals than just the penis

If you focus only on the head of the penis, you are not giving it enough thought. The corona glandis (the ridge around the glans) and the frenulum (the underside where the glans and shaft meet) have more nerve endings than any other part of the genitals. That is an incontrovertible fact. But there are still other pleasurable places to discover. The scrotum and perineum (located between the testicles and anus) also play a big role in sexual pleasure, if you let them. Pay attention to your balls when you do this. Try gently pulling or lightly squeezing them as you caress them. Massage your perineal area just behind your genitals.

Pro-tip: Try pressing on your perineum during and after climax to intensify the feeling during orgasm.

8. Involve the rest of the body

Why do men often masturbate focused only on their penis? After all, we are also aroused by so many different kinds of touch, not just those in the genital area. You probably only masturbate with one hand. Give your other hand a different task. Try the following:

• Touch your breast

• Play with her nipples

• Caress her belly and pelvis

• Touch your thighs

• Pinch your ears, your neck, your bottom…

There are so many more forms of sexual response than just massaging your penis, leading to a much more satisfying solo sex session.

9. Consider edging

A nifty way to masturbate for men is edging. Also known as the stop-and-start method, this technique works as follows: Masturbate until just before orgasm and then stop the stimulation completely. This way you "deny" your penis the final release, the sperm must not shoot out. After a few seconds' pause, resume the handjob and continue as usual. Many men feel that this method leads to an explosive, overwhelming orgasm. Over time, edging can also relieve premature ejaculation. Many men prefer to masturbate this way once they have learned the technique.

How to keep your penis fit

10. Popular aids

Experimenting with different types of masturbation may mean incorporating sex toys. Masturbation aids such as artificial vaginas that you push your penis into have come a long way in terms of the sensations they can produce. Prostate stimulators and anal beads can help you include the backdoor in the fun.

Many men rely on pornographic videos, which are available in abundance for free on the internet. But there are other ways, such as watching men masturbate in a sex film. You could also try reading porn or listening to it as an audiobook. Men are visual creatures, but if you close your eyes, you can get to know your body better. You might discover an appreciation for eroticism that you didn't even know you had. By the way, video porn also has a wide horizon. Consider paying for premium porn. There is an erotic sea of fantasy waiting for you behind the paywall.

Before there was porn, men fantasised. This oldest of stimulation techniques still has its place. The mental exercise actually prepares you for the real thing. It's an active process, quite the opposite of passively watching porn.

Imagine your dream partner or a hot scenario. Go into detail. Think of exactly the things you would say or do. You may end up with completely new ideas that you can implement in the bedroom.

What are the benefits of masturbation?

Masturbation is not only fun and natural, but also has several health benefits. Like sexual intercourse, masturbation releases hormones such as serotonin and dopamine, which have a number of positive effects. Several clinical studies also suggest that there are many health benefits. These include:

• Stress reduction

• Better sleep

• Better mood

• Greater relaxation

• Pleasure and well-being

• Less cramps

• Less sexual tension

• Better sex

• Probably lower risk of prostate cancer

How often should you masturbate?

One thing is certain: as long as you masturbate properly and avoid harmful masturbation practices (see next paragraph), there is basically no such thing as too much or too little masturbation. No adverse health effects have been associated with excess ejaculation. However, there are communities like the no-fap community that rave about the benefits of not masturbating. In fact, a 2016 study published in the journal European Urology found that a man's risk of prostate cancer drops significantly if he ejaculates at least 21 times a month. Music to our ears, isn't it? But not so fast. Unfortunately, the evidence is a little more complicated than that. The problem is that the study was based on self-reporting and did not distinguish in detail between masturbation and sex with a partner. So there are most likely some unforeseen factors at play here.

What not to do when you masturbate

It's great that masturbation has come out of the woodwork, but it's not all sunshine either. Men can cause themselves sexual problems if they masturbate incorrectly. Here are some things to avoid when masturbating:

1. The death grip

When men masturbate, many make a habit of squeezing their penis too tightly during solo satisfaction. This is known as death grip syndrome. In this way, they get used to very intense stimulation. Stimulation from a partner can be much more subtle. Therefore, if you have difficulty climaxing with a partner, it is time to change your masturbation technique. Try different stroking or massaging, using the other hand and/or gentler touches.

2. Masturbate without lube

As mentioned earlier, masturbation without lube can chafe your penis and even desensitise it permanently. Consider intimate lubrication to prevent any possible damage. And always start masturbating with lube (not regular creams) from the beginning.

3. Hasty handjobs

If you rush your masturbation routine, you will not only miss out on pleasure and the chance to relax. Rushing your solo sex can also cause a problem with premature ejaculation or exacerbate an existing issue. Slow down - masturbation is not a race!

4. Feelings of shame

Repeat after us: masturbation is perfectly normal and even beneficial! You are neither horny nor a loser. And it is also very important to internalise: you are not cheating on your partner or your family, and you are not betraying king, nation and fatherland if you masturbate now and then (or regularly

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