The classic peeping Tom or consciously watching sex?

Explore the world of voyeurism and cuckolding: observing people having sex, whether secretly as a voyeur or as part of the exciting cuckold fetish


by Bell Bennett

8 minutes read

The classic peeping Tom or consciously watching sex?

While the term voyeurism is generally known, the mention of cuckolding is increasingly met with questioning faces. We have taken a close look at what both terms actually mean and how they differ from each other.

Voyeurism involves secretly peeping on a woman

Definition of voyeurism

The definition of voyeurism varies a little depending on the source chosen. In voyeurism, the voyeur generally observes other people and their genitals. The undressing and changing of clothes, as well as sexual acts therefore, therefore attract the voyeur's gaze. Masturbation during or shortly after observation is usually part of the voyeuristic act. It is also important to mention that the persons being watched are always unaware that they are being watched. In common parlance, the voyeur is also called a peeping tom. Changing rooms, nudist areas and windows of private households are places where the voyeur seeks his victims. The word comes from the French voir, which means to see. By the way, voyeurism is not a punishable offence in most countries. It is only problematic if photos or videos are taken because here the image rights are violated. So if you don't want to be secretly observed, you'd better make sure you have adequate privacy.

What excites the voyeur?

Both secretly observing the nakedness of other people and observing the sexual act excite the voyeur. There are, of course, different incidents. However, it is important that the people being observed do not know this and do not notice it. If all those involved knew about each other, the term would be Candaulism. However, this is something completely different, since secret observation at this point lacks a crucial point, namely to do it secretly. Since it is precisely this secretiveness that constitutes voyeurism, a voyeur would no longer be aroused. The voyeur who observes others in the nude therefore usually does everything to avoid being sighted. For example, if it is not possible to masturbate while watching, the voyeur will only do it afterwards. If a voyeur has observed someone fucking and is standing in the street, for example, he then retreats to satisfy himself. A little clichéd, but not at all uncommon, is wanting to watch the neighbour naked. Binoculars or similar aids are often used for this. Many voyeurs feel comfortable in the safety of their own home. Others, on the other hand, enjoy the thrill of being in public and want to watch sex secretly while they masturbate. Voyeurisms can be women and men

Who belongs to the group of voyeurs?

The man with binoculars is probably the first image that comes to mind when we all think of this topic. But in fact, there are just as many female voyeurs as male ones. Female voyeurs may not be as noticeable because many people have the typical image of a man in their minds. However, just as many women have observed a man having sex. In corresponding internet forums, many women openly admit to their voyeuristic predisposition. They talk openly about it, discuss related topics and have lively exchanges. Experiences in swingers clubs are also described. In such an environment, there is often the possibility of observing others during sexual intercourse or other sexual acts. However, since this circumstance is actually known, the question arises to what extent these observations can still be described as voyeuristic. After all, it is not necessarily a matter of secretly observing. Of course, much of the scene is also a matter of interpretation. So anyone who displays voyeuristic traits and likes to observe more or less secretly calls themselves a voyeur, although the definition may say something else.

Definition of cuckolding

Let us now turn our attention to the lesser-known term. What is cuckolding? Cuckolding is also watching people having sex. However, it takes a completely different form than voyeurism. In marriages and partnerships, the man as cuckold ensures that the woman as hot wife has as many changing sex partners as possible. He then watches calmly as another man satisfies his beloved. This is in no way cheating or an open relationship. The usually submissive man only really gets going when he can watch his wife having sex. What would lead to a break-up in other relationships is the icing on the cake of the relationship and the sex life in cuckolding. A femdom or FLR relationship from the BDSM area usually includes cuckold sex. The term itself can be derived from French (coucou) and means cuckoo and describe the behaviour of women who foist children on their partners who are not theirs. Just like the bird of the same name does. Although illegitimate children rarely result from such encounters nowadays, the term is still defined in this way.

Cuckolding is consciously watching sex

What is the appeal of cuckolding?

When our partner enjoys himself or herself with others, many negative feelings usually arise in us. However, from a biological point of view, it is understandable that cuckolding is becoming more and more popular. The male body is conditioned to be more efficient when competitors are involved. Competitiveness is something that turns men on during sex. The male body secretes sex hormones diligently and runs at full speed, so to speak. So, after the competitor has done his work, the cuckold can't wait to pounce on his partner. Once he has watched his partner fuck, he is really hot. The idea of competition itself provides a certain fire and passion. Especially if the power imbalance in the relationship is very strong, other feelings come into play: the humiliation of the man who has to watch impassively. Jealousy provoked on purpose and the exercise of power excite both or sometimes even all three protagonists very much. Sometimes, however, there are other reasons for practising this type of play. Some men suffer from erectile dysfunction, have a very small sex organ, or other problems with the body or sexuality. The natural stimulus not only helps to boost one's own potency, it also ensures that the partner is sufficiently satisfied.

Cuckolding terms

There are some terms that are common in cuckolding and are used to refer to certain individuals. These include:

  • Cuckold, Cucki, Cuck or Cux refers to the submissive man who watches during sex. The few submissive women in this role are also referred to in this way, but increasingly as cucki.
  • Hotwife or cuckqueen, on the other hand, is the name given to the dominant woman.

What is the difference with voyeurism?

The difference between voyeurism and cuckolding lies primarily in the people being watched. The observer in cuckolding is a man who watches his girlfriend or even wife having sex. There is therefore a relationship and a deep bond between these two people. The woman's sexual partner can either be a stranger or known. In addition, the watching does not normally take place secretly. Compared to the voyeur, the cuckold also has the advantage that he can have sex with his partner afterwards. After all, the voyeur has secretly observed other women and has to make do with himself afterwards. In addition, cuckolds are usually male; a woman watching her partner having sex is rather rare here.

Differences between voyeurism and cuckolding

Different types of cuckolding

The man watches during sex, that's clear. But what other differences and different types of cuckolding are there? Normally, during cuckold sex, all participants know about each other. So, you can't really talk about real voyeurism. In some cases, however, the man may be sent out of the room and wait outside. In these scenarios, he is additionally humiliated because the imagination with the noises from the bedroom create images in the mind. This in turn cranks up the competitive thoughts a little more. Other couples prefer it when the man is in the room and has to watch his wife having sex. To incorporate voyeuristic traits into this type of play, some get really creative: hidden in the closet, behind curtains or in the next room, the men have to watch their wives having sex. A peephole or a viewing well facilitates this activity. In some cases, the man's presence is also concealed from the lover. In this case, the cuckold is actually acting as a voyeur because the man lying in bed with his partner has no idea that he is being watched. In some BDSM relationships, the cuckold is also tied up and positioned to watch. Other couples go to swingers clubs and simply practice cuckolding there. How and in what form each couple lives out their preferences, and with what other types of play this is combined is therefore very individual.

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