Autonepiophilia - when adults wear nappies

There are various expressions for adult play. Perhaps you know a few of them, such as ageplay or daddy play. Does that sound very confusing? We'll clear it up!


by Bell Bennett

16 minutes read

Autonepiophilia - when adults wear nappies

Have you never heard of ABDL, Adult Play or BDSM Ageplay? Or are you a fan of Daddy Play sex yourself and love your Age Play Baby Girl? Whether you belong to the first or second group, it's time we talk about adult play. Because there is an urgent need for education here. Why? Because many people who hear about the preference for childlike behaviour and baby clothes during sex are initially irritated. At first they think it is about something forbidden - namely the abuse of children. We have to clarify this immediately, because that is of course not what adult play is about at all! We will go into this in more detail a little later. Sex play is much more about letting go. It's about throwing off the shackles of everyday life and behaving freely and carefree like a child again. There is a huge range of accessories for the now quite large scene of adultplay fans. And there are even ageplay stories, i.e. audio books or stories that provide roleplay ideas for kinky sex. But first things first. Let's start by clarifying the common terms.

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What are ageplay, autonepiophilia and ABDL?

Wikipedia also explains autonepiophilia as adult baby syndrome.

The term refers to a sexual practice in the field of erotic ageplay, also known as babyplay or little play. However, as already mentioned, lovers of ageplay have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

They rather have a nappy fetish and thus belong to the group of nappy lovers.

Or they slip into the role of a teenager, toddler or infant themselves during role-play and represent a so-called adult baby.

ABDL is the acronym that stands for "Adult Baby and Diaper Lovers". Translated into German, we are talking about adult babies and nappy lovers. The acronym stands for a growing community of people in the kink community. Oh dear, another Anglicism that we should explain briefly. The English word "kink" literally means something like kink, bend or knot. However, kinky sex is also used as an umbrella term for all sub-types of BDSM and is widely used in erotic language. Kinky is everything from bondage to feeding, from foot fetishists to latex lovers or even the winding and educating of long since adult Age Players. If you are interested in ABDL, you will probably predominantly slip into only one of the two roles involved. The smaller part of the age players alternates between the roles of adult baby and caregiver, parent or nanny. Often only one and not all aspects of age play are practised. For better understanding: someone who belongs to the BDSM community may be into bondage, but not into sadism. And someone from the ABDL community may be a nappy lover but not an Adult Baby and vice versa. Let's break down exactly what it means to be an Adult Baby or a nappy lover.

What is an adult baby?

An Adult Baby or Infantilist is an adult who mentally reverts to a childlike state, either for fun or for erotic reasons. In science, this is called "paraphilic infantilism". This is a type of "age play": a special form of imaginative role-play in which one partner impersonates a person who is a different age than his or her actual chronological age.

Age play can be progressive (when someone pretends to be older than he or she actually is) or regressive (when he or she pretends to be younger than he or she actually is).

So someone who is an adult baby is engaging in regressive age play. But be careful: this must not be confused with age regression, which is a defence mechanism related to trauma and therefore has nothing to do with kink.

The adult baby in adult play

What may surprise you is that adult babies often don't play the role of a baby at all! Adult babies don't necessarily go all the way back to being babies, many also identify as toddlers, children and even teenagers! Furthermore, the age of an adult baby is not static and can fluctuate. Whilst one day you may be a cheeky schoolgirl, the next day you may turn into a helpless newborn. The day after that you might be a sulking teenager and so on.

ABDL accessories, costumes and behaviours

An ageplay baby girl and her "daddy" may want to use different props while they "play". With the right costumes and accessories, they can get into the role they want more easily and stay in it longer. Adult baby items include dummies, colouring books, milk bottles, cots, sippy cups and, of course, nappies. ABDL costumes can include rompers, dungarees, school uniforms, ruffled socks, children's dresses, colourful pyjamas and more.ABDL Little behaviours can be pretty much anything that occurs while growing up:

  • Tantrums at bedtime
  • Sucking on a dummy or baby bottle
  • Playing with dolls
  • Crawling on the floor
  • Non-verbal behaviour when role-playing as a babySucking lolliesAssuming a child's voice and so on....

Every Adult Baby is unique and different, just like every adult is unique and different!

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Adultplay for men and women

Adult infant partners

The partner of an adult baby is often called the 'caregiver' and is usually (but not always) the more dominant figure in the relationship. In the play, he can take on the role of a strict teacher, a caring mother, a dominant father or a cruel babysitter. It is often about "ABDL parenting" including scolding and punishing. Sometimes, however, this power dynamic can shift and the adult baby often finds himself in the role of the one in control: Consider, for example, a manipulative schoolgirl who blackmails her perverted teacher into giving her good grades. Or of a toddler who pesters her babysitter until she cries. These roles can also change at any time. And as long as both parties are fully on board, there are no limits to the ABDL role play and the characters that can emerge.

What is behind the name?

Now we have a rough idea of what it means to be an "adult child". Now it is important to know that the term "Adult Baby" is not preferred by everyone in the ABDL community. There are a number of reasons for this. First, someone who embodies the mindset of a twelve-year-old when playing may not feel that the term Adult Baby describes him or her well. She or he may find it frustrating when members outside the kink community automatically assume that one likes to act like a baby. Infantilist, as academics call an adult player, on the other hand, sounds more like a medical profession than a childlike inclination in sexy role-playing, doesn't it? Many members of the scene therefore prefer the term "age player" because it can be used to cover so many facets. The players often think of themselves as "adult little girls or boys" rather than (just) adult babies. Even those people who like to roleplay as babies don't like the term adult baby because of the negative associations it brings. They feel that they will be stigmatised if they use it. For this reason, many people in the ABDL scene use the collective term "Age Play". They feel that this is a much more accurate description of what they do and is less confusing to people outside the scene. Another popular and widely used word for someone who appears as someone younger than they actually are is "Little", meaning small or little. Little is a great term for a regressive age player because, after all, little can be anything from newborn upwards. Most importantly, "little" or "little one" is not as denunciatory as "adult baby"! The description "daddy play sex" should therefore also be used at most within one's own four walls or among like-minded people: It could also easily be misinterpreted. Okay, but now enough about the dear little ones, the adult babies, age players, adult players, littles or whatever...

What actually is a nappy lover?

Well, we're glad you asked. A nappy lover is someone with a fetish for nappies. This means that one finds nappies or the wearing of nappies arousing. Men and women in nappies can be aroused by the soft material on their skin. Or they may enjoy soiling the nappy and being spanked and scolded by their caregiver, or being groomed and freshly changed. An adult nappy lover, however, may not feel the need to behave like a baby at all, and playing with age may not be part of their inclination.

Using requisites such as nappies during adult play

For example, a submissive male with a penchant for humiliation may enjoy being "forced" by his Dom to wear a nappy in public. A coprophilia fetishist who finds human excrement arousing, on the other hand, may like the "dirtier" aspect of nappy wearing, etc. There are many reasons why adult nappy lovers enjoy wearing nappies. It is therefore important to know that a nappy fan is not necessarily also an adult baby (although he could be).

More about nappy fetish

ABDL - which it definitely is NOT

Just like several other fetishes, ABDL is a very misunderstood kink, even within the kink community! Anything to do with age play is a big taboo in society. Critics of ABDL and DDLG (Dominant Daddy / Little Girl) claim that adults simply shouldn't behave like children. Especially when it comes to sex. Many uninitiated believe ABDL is a cover for paedophilia and the sexual abuse of children. They don't understand that Adult Play is purely role-play among adults, while paedophiles live out their disgusting fantasies with real children. Let's be very clear again: Paraphilic Infantilism, also called Autonepiophilia, Age Play or Adult Play, has absolutely nothing to do with paedophilia or any form of child sexual abuse! Adult Littles are not attracted to children, nor do they want to form relationships with children. Rather, they want to take on the role of a child than spend time WITH a child. A series of 1993 case studies by sexologists Ray Blanchard and Kurt Freund confirms: The difference could not be clearer: paedophiles are attracted to children purely because of their desire for a child sexual partner. Infantilists, on the other hand, imagine themselves as children. They assume the objects of childhood or infancy in order to increase the power differential between their partners and themselves.

Adults become children again during adult play

The Truth About Adult Babies & Diaper Lovers

American sexologist and author Gloria Brame goes a step further and states: "Infantilists who acknowledge and accept their sexuality- and its possible roots in childhood trauma- tend to be protective of real children". As for the "big ones", i.e. the Littles' partners, their attraction to their "little one" is also far from childlike. They do enjoy caring for their "protectees" in a pretend, role-playing environment, but they are attracted exclusively to adult bodies. There is also no evidence that Adult Players are mentally ill or suffer in any way from their preferences. Age Play is exactly what the word describes: play and fantasy between consenting adults who do not condone coercion, violence and sexual abuse any more than the average person.

Why do people enjoy ABDL?

Many of you may wonder why ABDL is fun for people? What's in it for them?

Well, why do people like the things they like in the first place? People like things or activities because they ultimately make them happy. For example, some like to watch love stories because it makes them happy.

We could list countless reasons here why heartbreak movies make people happy: Great feelings, intoxicating music, attractive dream partners, fantastic sex, absolute fidelity, unrestrained sobbing, the happy ending… the list could go on and on.

Adultplay is more than just dressing up as a baby

But you can't know whether the things one person likes about TV romances are also the things others like about love stories. And to be honest, it doesn't really matter. Love story fans like love stories because love stories entertain them well, and that in turn makes them happy. That's all there is to it. So it is with ABDL. Adult babies and nappy lovers do the things they do because it makes them feel happy. No need to read anything into it. Full Stop.

What is so fulfilling about adult play?

There are all kinds of reasons why people become adult babies. Some people like to play with age because they want to go back to a simple time when they had no obligations. They could play all day without worrying about work, bills, deadlines and all the other fun things that come with being an adult. Others, however, enjoy being in a vulnerable state and being cared for by a caregiver so they feel protected and loved. Still others may have had an abused or neglected childhood. They find that playing in old age gives them the innocence and sense of warmth they never experienced as a child. Some may work in a very demanding job where they are in charge all day. Age-play allows them to relinquish this control, relax and enter an almost meditative state. Chilean sociologist Ignacio Rivera says that age-play can take people to "wonderfully enlightening places, but also to dark places". He goes on to say that in the context of child role-play, one can also "explore a variety of BDSM power dynamics". The feelings of nappy lovers may be slightly different, but ultimately lead to the same sense of fulfilment and happiness. Perhaps they get excited by the thrill of having a secret, of wearing something under their clothes that no one else knows about. This is exciting for them, and that in turn turns them on. They may enjoy being an adult in baby nappies because adults shouldn't wear nappies. It's a taboo. It is this sense of the forbidden that attracts them to nappies. They may feel embarrassed or humiliated if they choose to wear nappies. Some find it even better when a dominant woman "forces" them to wear a nappy as a punishment or humiliation tool (consensually, of course). Some adults like to wet or defecate their nappy in-sometimes even in public. It makes them feel dirty and disgusting, and they in turn enjoy this sensation. Nappy wearers may like to have their nappy changed by a "caregiver" or a dominant woman. This may cause feelings of shame and humiliation (which they enjoy), or they may feel loved and cared for. Whatever the specific reason why someone enjoys ABDL play or wearing nappies, the underlying motives are the same: Doing the aforementioned or even other childish things makes people feel good and happy. And what drives us humans if not the pursuit of happiness in any form? Some of our fetish escorts also enjoy role-playing of the most diverse kind. So if you want to completely let yourself go and surrender to the female care of a hot nanny, you've come to the right place. Or are you more excited by the thought of being chastised by a strict governess? You will certainly find exactly the treatment you are looking for with our escort ladies.

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Many couples have secret wishes to try adult play

ABDL and aftercare

Aftercare is very important in the BDSM community! It is the practice of the dominant partner taking care of the physical and mental needs of the sub (submissive partner) after a "scene". In our case, the sub would normally be the adult baby or nappy lover, but as explained earlier, it doesn't always have to be that way. Aftercare gently guides the sub back into the "real world". It is helpful and even necessary if the sub has experienced a gruelling BDSM scene involving physical punishment, humiliation, degradation, etc. After all, BDSM can be very draining both physically and emotionally. Aftercare is also especially important when it comes to roleplay. This is because adult play can put both the "top" and the "bottom" (the dominant and the submissive) in a very intense and vulnerable emotional state.

During this time, you should check with your partner to make sure that he is doing well and that his physical and emotional needs have been met. You can ask him how the scene was for him and if there was anything he did not like. For some age players, a one-time check is enough. Others may need to be checked every hour or - depending on the intensity - even a few days after the scene to make sure they are still doing well. Follow-up looks different for each person, of course. But making a cup of tea, cuddling and joking around is a great way to restore the natural dynamic of the relationship. Love, relaxation and laughter are ideal to bring things back down to earth.


We hope we've managed to clear up the confusion about ABDL, age play, nappy fetish and more in this post! ABDL may not be everyone's idea of a good time, but that's no reason to go kink shaming. Just because you don't like or understand something doesn't make it "wrong" or "weird". For example, one person doesn't understand why his friend is so obsessed with FIFA. But hey, he probably doesn't understand his girlfriend's obsession with True Crime in return either. Every single person on this planet likes something that other people might think is weird (or even taboo). Nappy lovers, Littles and their Caretakers are not weird or even deviant either. They are not paedophiles, they are not abusers and there is nothing "wrong" with them. People in the ABDL community simply like what they like and that is all.

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