The game with sexual dominance

Explore the exciting world of sexual dominance in the bedroom. Learn how to take control and elevate your love life to a new level. Discover more now!


by Bell Bennett

12 minutes read

The game with sexual dominance

Well, admit it - a little variety in the bedroom wouldn't be bad, would it? What may have caused flushed cheeks and secret desires in movies should make its way into every bedroom - dominance! After all, we all know that flower sex gets boring in the long run. So shift into a new gear and get involved in the adventure of sexual dominance.

Dominance... what?

Dominance, from a purely scientific point of view, means that someone has a higher social status and others have to submit to him. Sexually, we don't really like this definition, because dominance in bed should never be about coercion and must.

Rather, sexual dominance is understood as the desire to have control and to slip into the leading role of the relationship. In which areas the dominant part exercises control over his or her partner, we bring you closer in the course of this article. Only so much - not only women want a dominant partner, but also vice versa.

The charm of dominance in bed

Do you know this tingling feeling when you are at the mercy of your partner and do not know what will happen to you in the sexual game? Especially emancipated women love to be able to completely let go in bed and let the dominant man take the lead. This is because since the beginning of mankind, women have been given the feeling that they need to look for a strong, dominant man to take care of them. Independent, independent and strong women would probably never admit this, but it is nevertheless a fact that a dominant man radiates security.

Of course, there are also enough men who are looking for a dominant (sex) partner, aren't there? Even in this constellation, it is usually the case that successful businessmen, for example, enjoy the thrill of being dominated. In their everyday professional life, they take responsibility, make important decisions and lead their employees. In the bedroom, on the other hand, they relinquish responsibility completely, don't have to make any decisions, and are guided. Many men find being led and obeying their partner highly arousing. Female dominance is no longer a rarity.

Sex is great, and variety in sex life is even greater. Trying new things, evolving and slipping into new roles — all this makes dominance in bed so appealing to many couples.

Are you dominant in bed?

You recognize dominant people by paying attention to signals and interpreting them correctly. One of these signals is, for example, intensive eye contact. Dominant people usually seek eye contact with their counterparts and do not show any shyness or fear. You can also determine dominance by the voice. While submissive people usually speak very softly and insecurely, dominant people usually communicate louder and with a clear voice. To present dominance, an erect posture is also important. If you are reading this, would you say of yourself that you are dominant (in bed)? If you answered this question in the negative, but are eager to step into a dominant role at some point, consider the following tips:

  • You can't force dominance. If you don't feel like trying something new, it won't excite you. This not only takes the fun out of it for you, but will also be noticed by your partner.

  • Be responsive to your sexual counterpart, but don't bend in the process. Especially in long-term partnerships, you may want to please your partner by offering him something sexually that does not excite you yourself. You can certainly do this from time to time if it is mutual. However, doing everything for the sake of your partner can lead to boredom in the bedroom for yourself.

  • You have taken the lead. Therefore, your own wishes now come first. Your partner wants something from you? It doesn't work like that, because you are the dominant part and should put your partner in his place. Determining instructions or bound arms can make it clear who is the boss.

  • Dominance and consistency go hand in hand. Therefore, it is important that you follow through with your ideas and do not let them get away from you. This is the only way to convey to your partner that he is completely at your mercy.

  • Think together about appropriate punishments in case your partner does not follow your instructions. Punishments reinforce your dominance. When it comes to punishments, don't just think of the classic slap on the butt. How about restraints or harsh words?

A dominant couple

Incorporate dominance into sex life

Especially for people who have not tried much in the bedroom, it is difficult to express dominant ideas or even implement them. Yet this is not so difficult. Start with clear words to convey to your partner what you want:

  • I am hot and want you!
  • We now go to the bedroom!
  • Let everything stand and lie and spoil me!

It is important that your words are clear and you do not ask questions. Your prompts are clear, confident and leave no room for misunderstanding. This way your partner knows exactly what you want and how you want it.

Besides words, actions also convey dominance. Your partner has not followed the request to go to the bedroom? Push him with pressure, but of course without violence, in the direction of the bedroom. Your dominance does not end there. Specify the desired position and help if you are not obeyed. If your counterpart is already close to climax, stop and show again who is in charge. In the best case, you will be begged to continue. If you are dominant during sex, you are the boss over the orgasm and can decide when to allow your partner to explode.

The man as the dominant part

Dominance in bed wants to be practiced

Now we will explain how your dominance is really believed. Played dominance could go in bed quite in the pants, lead to fits of laughter or even extinguish the complete excitement. However, if you pay attention to the following aspects, your sex partner will see and feel your dominance.

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Psychological dominance

Sexual dominance happens not only physically, but also psychologically. So it is not enough to use your fingers or tongue skillfully. To be dominant in bed, you need to radiate psychological dominance as well. If you know what you want and especially if you know what you want from your partner, you convey security and dominance. Among other things, this means that as the dominant part, you never ask for permission. You do what you feel like doing and give orders to your partner.
If you are not sure whether you are ready for something new as a couple, try it out anyway. Pay attention to your partner's signals to see if you're going too far or if they also feel like it. As the dominant part, you can tell if your ideas are met with favor or not. If your counterpart reacts negatively, simply take a step back and pursue another idea. Never let insecurity show in the process.


Sexual dominance begins in the head

You only radiate dominance if you have the right attitude towards it. Do you love to be in control? Do you do what you feel like doing? These two mindsets are probably the most important to be authentically dominant during sex. Even more so, you must be convinced that your sexual playmate would gladly relinquish control to be dominated and would do anything to satisfy you. If you follow these attitudes, you will automatically radiate dominance.

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Dominance bubbling out of the mouth

Until now, you used your mouth in bed mainly to orally delight your counterpart, right? Dominance is expressed, among other things, through targeted verbal expressions. These can lead to arousal just as much as your tongue used in the most sensitive body zones. At the same time, you should know that men mainly get horny through what they can also see. With women it looks a little different - these can namely achieve arousal through all senses.

So the biggest mistake you can make is to be silent during sexual play. When you express what you want and what you intend to do, your partner can adjust to it, look forward to it or show reluctance to it. You can even bring your sex partner to orgasm without touching him, but only with your dominant words.

"Admit it, you've been imagining all day how we're going to do it today!"

These words probably already cause a slight groan. Do not stop here, but continue.

"When you think about it, you already get all wet. I can see the desire in your eyes!"

Now you will notice trembling, rapid breathing and possibly unsteadiness. Possibly the legs are pressed together or wobbled back and forth on the chair. Be dominant now and give clear instructions about what you want.

"You like that? Take your clothes off and do it yourself!"

Hardly anyone will refuse you this request and you have already managed to make your sexual partner explode exclusively through verbal dominance.


What happens after that is also up to you. The first possibility are commands like this:

  • Look me in the eyes.
  • Do it to me.
  • Turn around and close your eyes.
  • Blindfold yourself and wait for me.


Also, you can give instructions on what to say:

  • Tell me you want it again.
  • Beg me to spank your bottom.
  • Beg me to give you another orgasm.
  • Tell me how much you need me.


Another way for verbal domination in bed is to announce what you are going to do next:

  • Your butt will soon be red, but you will find it horny.
  • After the first orgasm I'll give you another one right away - even if you don't want that.
  • I'll blindfold you, tie your arms and do what I want with you.

Has the movie in your head cinema already started just by reading these words? Then from now on you know how to score points with verbal dominance.

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Sexual dominance over the body

Verbal dominance is one thing, but physical dominance is king. People who want to be dominated get horny at the mere thought of physical overpowering. As always, there are limits to dominance. As soon as your partner uses the safeword or it becomes visibly too much, that's it.

You can achieve physical dominance, for example, by placing your playmate's hand in your genital area or by holding both hands and pressing them on the mattress. Arousal can also be achieved by actions such as throwing yourself on the bed (or any other sexual playground you can think of), pressing yourself against the wall or a simple slap on the bottom.

  When it comes to physical dominance, keep in mind to use it at the right moment. If your sex partner has just come home exhausted and reports a fight with the boss, it is not the right time for dominance in bed. Better create a distraction and show understanding - afterwards you still have enough time to act out your dominance and drive your partner crazy.

Bondage games and utensils

In recent years, the sales figures of restraints, sex toys and other utensils have risen sharply. There is hardly any other method to demonstrate more sexual dominance than to tie up your counterpart and create complete submission. If you then also use blindfolds, you will additionally expand your partner's sexual horizons.

For bondage games, there must be unconditional trust. Without trust, physical dominance could go down the tubes. So, it is best not to buy a complete bondage equipment right away, which often looks dangerous. Feel your way to the topic of dominance through bondage better with utensils that you already have at home anyway. How about a simple tie á la Christian Grey, a scarf or other cloths? You will see, these tools for bondage cause the same ecstasy as an expensive bondage cross.

Drip, drip, ... hot wax on aroused bodies? This is easy to implement and requires no preparation, but does a lot. You already have numerous utensils at home that you can use to demonstrate your dominance. Just think of a feather to torture your partner by tickling him or costumes to assume other characters in role-playing games. Be creative in doing so, but always keep safety in mind.

Do you also want to become active immediately?

If you now have the desire to be sexually dominant in bed or to be dominated, we have probably done everything right with our contribution. Dominance in bed is exciting and also contains a spark of danger. This is exactly what makes the game of sexual dominance so tingling. Surprise your partner today with a little session of dominance or being dominated and be amazed yourself at how much your sex life will improve.

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