Spanking- blatant SM practice or erotic game?

Many people don't know what the term spanking means and wonder what it is. But is spanking for everyone or just for the experienced?


by Bell Bennett

7 minutes read

Spanking- blatant SM practice or erotic game?

Spanking can indeed be both, a sexy part of regular sex or a real fetish. However, people who are into intense pain and even feel pleasure only when they are physically chastised hard are in the minority. Many others are more interested in the thrill of the forbidden. More and more couples want to try out new ways of playing in bed every now and then, and giving their partner a good spanking is also part of it. Here you can find out how to prepare for spanking, what is allowed and what is not, and which positions are particularly suitable for spanking.

Dominatrix in lingerie ready for spanking

What exactly is spanking sex?

Strictly speaking, spanking belongs to the category of BDSM and can be practised from tender to hard. However, very few spanking friends are interested in brutal beatings that can even cause injuries. It is often the pleasure-increasing effect of spankings on different parts of the body that is the attraction. By the way, a large part of the eroticism of this sex variation is the mental cinema during the spanking! Because the idea of being lightly chastised by your partner if you don't obey is incredibly arousing. In addition, the strokes release endorphins that regulate pain. For this reason, many people are allowed to spank a little harder during the evening.

What is BDSM?

BDSM Spanking Needs Rules

Now you may be thinking- wait a minute, what is supposed to be erotic about setting rules and defining behaviours? We explain why a certain code of conduct is necessary in all BDSM play.

1. Spanking requires trust, and you certainly don't want to jeopardize that. Therefore, when dating for spanking eroticism (especially within relationships), both parties must be honest. If your partner asks you to tenderly spank him or her, and you don't like the idea at all, say so clearly. Of course, the same applies the other way around.

2. Especially if you want to try spanking for the first time or are still quite new to the subject, the following applies: You should definitely decide before spanking what your partner will allow you to do and what he will not tolerate. Because even if it's all about control later on, you don't want to seriously hurt or humiliate anyone, right? Therefore, discuss with your playmate or sex partner where you are allowed to hit them, how hard it may be and what objects you can use for this.

3. If your partner has injuries or skin abrasions anywhere on their body, these areas are automatically excluded from spanking. Joints, shins, neck, head, and spine are also off limits. If you have implants, do not hit the breasts. 4.

4. Make sure you have a few easy-to-remember safe words or phrases. For example, “I guess I was a good girl” to express that the spankings can be a little harder or “I didn't deserve that” if you want to be less firm. This way, your partner can control how far the spanking goes and when it becomes too painful without interrupting the role play. A final stop word must also be established before your sexy BDSM session. Here, many couples use the word "red" in the sense of showing the red card. So if you hear “red” during lovemaking, it means that you should stop what you are doing immediately. And this without any ifs and buts.

Once these points have been clarified, you can plunge into the teasing pleasure of erotic spanking without hesitation.

Instruction Spankingsex

No master has fallen from the sky, and we are all still learning about sex. Spanking is usually not a strongly developed fetish, which is why you should definitely take it slowly. Chastising your partner — often by spanking — is only erotic if both partners enjoy it. In addition to the buttocks, you may also pamper other parts of the body with gentle strokes, if this has been agreed.This can be the back, the thighs, or the external sexual organs. However, you should be extremely careful in the intimate area and slowly work up the intensity from very discreet spankings. Even if you start directly with spanking toys, you really have to be careful. With a whip or riding crop, inexperienced spankers can inflict nasty pain or even nasty injuries on their sex partners. Spanking is about giving up some control and letting mild pain get you hot. With a blindfold, you increase the stimulation, as your partner cannot know when and where the next slap will hit him. By the way, spanking the woman is much more widespread than chastising the male backside. This is probably because about 60% of women prefer to give up the lead during sex anyway, and also like to engage in submissive role-play. Many men are only too happy to accommodate the ladies here — even in sexy spanking.

Leather mask and whip for spanking sex

Spanking positions for beginners

Since the love strokes will probably be primarily on the buttocks, you should choose positions in which you have your partner's buttocks directly in front of you. Lying on your stomach or kneeling in front of you will give you a good view of the tempting body part. Maybe your partner has been so naughty that you have to put him or her over your knee? The effect of BDSM spanking can be enhanced if the submissive partner is standing by. For then, in addition to the beatings, he or she must endure the standing while his or her arousal increases: a punitive measure not to be underestimated, but one that can drive the mutual pleasure to extremes. Bondage games are also often combined with spanking — no wonder, since they both belong to the pleasurable category of submission and domination.

Hot Spanking Toys

Of course, you or your partner can also use your flat hand to slap your thighs and bottom, preferably with closed fingers. However, if you both enjoy the erotic strokes, you will certainly soon be on the lookout for suitable spanking toys. If you need them immediately, you can always find something at home. The back of a hairbrush, a bamboo stick, cooking spoons or carpet beaters are all suitable for spontaneous spanking sessions. Many women find it particularly hot when they are chastised with the help of a soft whip with many strands or a soft riding crop. At the beginning of your spanking experiments, you should definitely choose soft leather, as this material does not hurt nearly as much as rubber whips or plastic rods when used moderately. Paddles, inflexible riding crops or belts and the like definitely don't belong in beginner's hands, unless you're just stroking your partner's body with them. Remember: You want to increase both your arousal and not really hurt the woman or the man! If a spank is too strong, you should massage the area immediately and possibly cool it down.

Various whips and toys for spanking sex

Find spanking contacts

You really want to try the sexy spankings, but you don't know with whom? Or are you really looking for SM spanking, but it's probably not something you can get your sweetheart excited about? Under the keyword “spanking wanted” or “spanker seeks spankee” (or vice versa) you are sure to find spanking contacts who appreciate erotic spankings as much as you do. Maybe instead of amateurs, you prefer ladies or gentlemen who already know exactly what they are doing. With our escort service, you are guaranteed to find a lady who would like to share these hard-hitting experiences with you.


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