Sex with your ex - erotic reunion or bad idea?

You have been separated for a while, but whenever you see him/her, you clearly feel that the sexual desire is still there, that your body wants the closeness. Often, even after separation or divorce, there is still a sexual attraction between the two people, this is quite normal. But sex after separation; can it go well? Unfortunately, it must be said in advance that sex without love usually works better for men than for women.

Your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend or ex-husband/ex-wife has contacted you again and wants to have sex with you? Before you have sex with an ex-partner, you should ask yourself for your own emotional protection what motivation both sides might have behind it and whether you can cope with it if he/she doesn't want to anymore. Do you want him/her back or would it really just be noncommittal, meaningless sex with the ex? In case you are still getting over him/her or are looking for a new partner, sex with the ex is not the best idea. Seeing him/her again and again or sending messages back and forth does not help you forget about the relationship and start over.

When lovers become ex-friends: The separation phases

If a relationship comes to an end, the pain comes and with it the negative feelings such as anger, sadness, disappointment and also self-doubt. This can even lead to depression. It is not easy for anyone to accept a breakup, least of all for the person leaving. Unfortunately, it is also the case in Germany that one third of marriages are divorced again on average. It is impossible to say how long it takes to process a breakup, but you should take enough time to think about your feelings and go through the four phases of a breakup.

It should be said in advance that the different phases cannot be directly distinguished from each other. It almost always happens that you are in several phases at the same time.

Phase 1: Denial

Immediately after the breakup, everything seems unreal and you perceive the world differently. It seems as if all the colors have faded. The future is uncertain and the person with whom you have overcome all the pain and all the problems together in the past is now gone. Those who have been abandoned can't believe it at the first moment. All of this makes no sense, after all, the ex-partner was so close a short time ago and yet it feels as if he/she could walk through the door in a moment. In order to realize that the relationship is really over, contact should be broken off after the breakup (for now). Don't hide the breakup, but get support from friends and family from the beginning. Because the worst feeling after a breakup is being alone and you are not! If contact with the ex continues, the abandoned person may be hurt. Every word of the ex-partner is put on the gold scale, every contact is seen as a possibility for a second chance.

Phase 2: Emotional chaos

Little by little you will realize that the relationship is over. That the shared experiences are slowly fading into memories and that he/she is no longer there. Every memory of the ex-partner leaves a small sting and the bad phases of the relationship are simply faded out. After you tried to reach him/her in phase 1 and save the relationship with everything you have, you now think about why the relationship ended and where your mistakes were. It may happen that you no longer find yourself attractive, that you doubt your character or actually believe that it was all your fault.

Phase 2 is characterized by anger and sadness. As soon as you realize that there is no going back, the anger comes. Suddenly your view of things changes and instead of you seeing all the faults with your ex.

Phase 3: Acceptance

Then comes acceptance. You accept the end of the relationship and understand that your ex is not coming back. In this phase, most people start some kind of self-renewal: forgotten hobbies revive, old friends are contacted, the look is changed or you go on a trip. You want to meet new people, do things and experience new things. You accept that you will go your way alone in the future and even enjoy it a little bit. You may no longer be averse to a one-night stand and can get a little ego boost that way.

Phase 4: Realignment

Finally you can look forward. Have banished the memories of the relationship from your life, maybe even deleted all photos and erased all contact information. Your ex-partner is a thing of the past. The pain, despair and anger have left you. You focus on yourself and on living up to your own desires and expectations. You do what you feel like doing and enjoy not having to conform to anyone else. And as you continue to live your life, you will eventually be ready for a new love.

Sex after separation: not a rarity

Often, even after separation or divorce, there is still a sexual attraction between the two people. In Germany alone, around a quarter have already had sex with their ex-partner. There are various reasons for this. Often it is the familiarity and connection that one has built up together and to which one longs to return. Or the ex-partner feels lonely and wants to comfort each other, also because they were once so familiar with each other.

Sex in the separation phase is often not a good idea for either side. The one who has been dumped may have too high hopes that the relationship could be saved after all, while the other may already be looking for someone else. Having sex again can create hopes that are then disappointed (again). So it doesn't necessarily become easier to accept that it's over. However, if both sides are directly aware that there is no going back to the lovers they once were, sex with the ex can be painless and even have positive side effects. After all, you already know each other and may have had to realize several times on dates: Sex with my ex was better...

  It's best if you both clarify the fronts before the "repeat act". What does who expect and how do you deal with it, if someone then develops feelings. After all, having sex again doesn't mean that everything is unseen and the relationship continues as if nothing ever happened. You just want to have sex with him/her, but are looking for someone completely different for your future? That's perfectly okay, after all, you don't owe your ex anything anymore! Even though this might hurt your counterpart, it makes sense to be honest from the beginning so that neither of you gets hurt. However, you should also be aware that your ex-partner might have the same desire. If this fact hurts you, having sex again is not the best decision.

Sex with the ex : these are the advantages:

Even if sex with the ex has received a bad reputation in history, this also brings positive things with it. Your cravings can be satisfied without having to go on the tiresome search for a suitable and attractive sex partner. Unlike a first date with a stranger, sex with your ex-partner is a hundred times more relaxed. You already know him or her and their preferences and the other way around as well. Especially when it's clear to both of you that sex can't turn into a relationship anymore, the pressure falls off. You don't have to pretend anything, you don't have any obligations and you can tell your ex what you really want. Neither of you will be ashamed, you have already seen each other naked a few times and in different positions. Also, you don't have to worry about your outfit, underwear, your untidy apartment or stubble, after all, no one needs to be impressed anymore.

After the breakup: one-time thing or a sex relationship with the ex?

It actually happened. You had sex with your ex. And now what? Do you want to have sex with him/her regularly now, was it a one-time thing, do you see him/her as a rebound or are you using this as an opportunity to win him/her back? These are important questions to ask before you get involved in a sex relationship with your ex after the breakup or after having sex again. In case you want a relationship again, there are other ways than a sex relationship. Especially since then the interpersonal, such as long conversations or joint ventures are lost, if you do anything at all together.... If you plan to use your ex as a stopgap until you meet someone who suits you better, this is not the best idea either. This will make it harder for you to concentrate on finding a new partner and if he/she finds out about your affair with the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend you can be sure that the enthusiasm will be limited. Whether you are really ready for a sex relationship with the ex, however, only you can know.

My ex only wants sex, but I want more...

You have been seeing each other again for a while. Always at home and always having sex. You want to go out with your ex again and he/she never has time? Deeper conversations are no longer possible and shortly after sex you are all alone again? All this does not let you go and you are hurt when he/she shows no interest in you. As soon as you realize that sex with your ex is not just platonic for you, you should end the sex relationship in order not to get hurt even more. It could well be that he/she is just using you until someone else shows up or even has sex with someone else. This can be very painful to experience, especially if you had sex with your ex-partner more often after the breakup and maybe you already had hopes that everything would be like before. If you are unsure about what is going on inside him/her, talk about it openly. You may not get the answer you want, but you will know directly where you stand and you will be spared (another) disappointment.

Meeting Escort ladies instead of sex with ex

She is no longer out of your head and you just want to forget her? To distract yourself and not fall off the wagon, you can meet with a passionate lady from BB Escort and that without any obligations! She takes all the time in the world for you and fulfills your wishes that your ex-girlfriend would never have allowed you.

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